The Ugly Truth - I Trust Myself
"I trust myself." Can you say that, in all honesty? Meh? Maybe? Sometimes? It's hard, dude. Because the truth is, we have so much noise, so many tapes, so much outside influence that's taught us that we're less than capable or less qualified... We've got years of letting fear or indecision or insecurity take the wheel, and it's become habit.
We think it's okay to betray our gut in order to avoid conflict or hard things, or we convince ourselves not to go for something because we're out of our league. We second guess ourselves constantly. Sometimes it looks like letting yourself stay in a situation because it's better to be unhappy than alone. Sometimes it looks like anxious tendencies. Sometimes it looks like guilt, sometimes like impostor syndrome. I know for me, it looks like withholding energy from the things I'm passionate about because I feel unqualified.
We have to do better by and for ourselves. We can't let hurt or regret become comfortable. Fuck that. We have to earn our own trust back and answer only to our own voice.
Earning trust that's been lost is hard work, you guys. I don't have to tell you that. If someone betrayed you, stole from you, attacked or belittled you... Would you trust them again? Would you let them take charge of your direction? Absolutely the fuck not. But, you're you. You're the guardian of your soul and the keeper of your heart, and in your gut and your brain are the keys to the station. But those keys have been mishandled. Copies have been made and given to lovers, parents, and mentors. To social pressure. To people whose opinions and values we trusted more than we did our own. Whose voice is running unchecked through your head and manning the controls?
How do we regain that control, that intuitive trust? Maybe it's keeping little promises to yourself. Maybe it's meditating and journaling until you break into the depths of what you really think and feel, without external dialogue. It's probably going to be ugly. It's definitely going to take time. It may even require therapy, or study at the very least, of how to raise your vibration and keep your internal integrity in your hands. But it'll be worth it when you look forward with love instead of trepidation, when you can make choices for yourself with your best interest in mind rather than with the whispers of others for influence. The root of your being is trust in yourself, because you are divine and powerful and you can create a life for yourself that is joyful and well. Guide yourself true. Take back the keys.