Here we are--we've entered the busy holiday season and even though the leaves have all fallen and we're entering the cold months, there's still SO MUCH WORK TO DO. So what's the lesson?
I AM HERE NOW.
I ACCESS MY HIGHEST SELF.
This season is the setting in which you make an offering of yourself to slow.everything.down. May you be well, sage woman.
]]>There’s a demented idea that many of us hold onto tightly, reinforcing the notion that perfection is this outer limit to constantly pursue and attain. This construct takes over and drives our every move, internal consideration, and thrives off of doubt. We doubt our worthiness, we doubt our enough-ness, we doubt our ability. And then, there is a challenge to overcome. That concept of perceived perfection becomes a carrot on a stick, causing us to blindly walk through a field of available, nourishing greens in order to potentially reach a dry carrot shriveled by the sun. But what if the challenge has NOTHING to do with out there?
You are here. In this moment and season you have been gifted opportunities and tribulations to work towards and through that are preparing you for what is ahead. But, you are here, now.
The mundane is where the miraculous lives. The fact is simplicity can take form and flourish amidst ever-unfolding chaos (because, at least, that's what the second law of thermodynamics dictates, anyways...chaos, like your ear bud wires, is always increasingly tangled). It's up to us to put some kind of order to our systems so that we can observe the beauty We know that seasons shift. Babies are born. Dinner must be made. School releases to the long summer days. Grandmothers and aunties need calling. Are these tasks to be accomplished or checked off? Or are they opportunities to create beauty within the mundane-ness of the moment?
Special events are made special by us setting them apart to be appreciated (our holiday celebrations). But we don't have to wait for a special day to feel or acknowledge accomplishment or health, or the vibrancy of the red, potted geranium on the porch. We don't have to wait for a Saturday to get up and enjoy some slow breathing in the sunshine.
We can savor our coffee (or Holy Wellness Herbal Tea) from the first sip, reveling in the flavor instead of skipping ahead to the perceived perfection of a completely folded laundry basket that is forever waiting or ruminating on the looming list of email replies.
The dangling carrot is right here and so is a knife with which to cut it down and enjoy. If it's winter, maybe carrot soup is better...maybe carrot salad is preferred in the summer. The point is, there's always a way to enjoy what's right in front of us.
There is no right way to do it. This season is the setting in which you make an offering of yourself to slow.everything.down. May you be well, sage woman.
~Nova
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Turmeric (Curcuma longa)
The incredible turmeric root is an adaptogen- adaptogens are a particular class of herbs taken consistently over time that provide stabilization of physiological processes that promote homeostasis within the body. That’s a fancy way of saying, adaptogens help us establish our set point of balance.
A member of the ginger family, this vibrant golden orange spice may be thought of as foreign by some. It’s predominant in Eastern medicine and food traditions, but it is an important herbal ally to know intimately and have on hand for both cooking and daily wellness. It has been used widely in Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine.
Health Benefits of Turmeric
Turmeric has a long history as an herbal ally. This fragrant rhizome is, perhaps, best known for its ability to support gastrointestinal relief and anti-inflammatory relief. However, it is antimicrobial, cardioprotective (heart), neuroprotective (nervous system), hepatoprotective (liver), carminative (warming). Additionally, it has been found to decrease blood cholesterol and to relieve allergic and asthmatic responses associated with airborne irritants such as hay fever, pet dander, pollen, and dust.
Because turmeric is known to have so many molecular targets within the body, it is a special plant to call upon when inflammation and stagnancy is problematic. Whether it’s an upset stomach, rheumatic joints, or skin flare ups, turmeric truly is my go-to herb for just about everything, including exhaustion, general achiness, or being energetically low and melancholic.
Furthermore, it is regarded as an important pharmacological adjunct (to be used in addition to) to cancer and cardiovascular treatments. Turmeric has extensive research behind its usage and has full support in the herbal community as well as the street cred of the conventional medicine community. It is not uncommon for western medical doctors to encourage patients to supplement turmeric in their diet for inflammation support.
I have had many customers tell me they take turmeric for rheumatoid arthritis, edema, bursitis, sleep, and Covid-19 recovery and our Golden Milk is their favorite way to take it.
When to reach for Turmeric:
Contraindications/Precautions:
Turmeric is generally thought to be safe across all age groups and health identities and can be taken consistently without adverse effects. The exception is that turmeric should be avoided if there is an active inflammation of the stomach; it can be resumed once the irritation resides to help stabilize.
As always, though, check with your care provider about taking turmeric with prescription medications.
How to use Turmeric:
Tea/food Preparation: blend 1-2 tsp into foods or drinks. It can be taken in tincture form, as pill (my least favorite way), cooked into foods or added into drinks.
Our number one suggestion for how to take turmeric for inflammation or other ailments is our best-selling item, Golden Milk. Golden Milk can be added to your milk of choice and a bit of honey for a delicious warming drink. Blended with a few additional spices to promote assimilation (black pepper help activate, ginger/cinnamon/cardamom help with blood flow) into the body, we see over and over from our people that our blend helps calm hyperactive immune systems. We love that our Golden Milk can be used in stews, smoothies, even added to coffee.
For recipe ideas, check out our blog post: Immune Boosting Recipes: Golden Milk 3 Ways
Boundaries are for suckers.
This is the opposite of what I've been personally working on for the last ten years. But in marriage and divorce and marriage and moving and moving and moving and motherhood....we've created a scenario of constant vigilance and defense.
Setting up boundaries to keep others out is soul sucking.
We build up the courage to set boundaries and then they get tested over and over. The work of boundaries is ongoing. The cancel culture, the humanist lens that everything is all right for everybody all the time, except if it offends.
Why are we so offended and defensive all the time? Me too, ya'll. I am. I've been so focused on keep things out that I forgot how to come back to my own space where my peace is. And I've ended up stepping in my own shit over and over because I've outsourced what boundaries actually do for my own self.
Peace--it's an inside job.
I've grown annoyed with spiritualized ritual of cycling through the moon phases and setting intentions, then releasing, then dropping "what no longer serves me."
Yuck. There's not any new wisdom I've arrived at recently to allow me to confidently believe I can keep doing what I'm doing with different expectations.
So here's where I'm landing: boundaries are my own container--not a fence to keep others out.
My boundaries are to rest MY Spirit. I am my own safest space to dwell. Boundaries allow all my sloppy emotions to slosh around like waves smashing against the built up sandbar.
I'm not meant to be shut off from other people, disassociate or detach from relationships. But I am meant to count on me, first. To trust me. To honor me.
I am meant to feel the feels, give them the gracious space to move around then resettle.
My inside space isn't a litter box. It may get messy, but I'm the one responsible for cleaning that shit up. No matter. NO MATTER.
I don't want to follow moon cycles anymore that feel hollow. I want to rest in my own courage to know when I've stepped over/through my boundary and when I need to come back to honoring myself.
I desire to always hold enough awareness and spaciousness to know when I need to course-correct.
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No matter how many IG memes you read and save, you've got to write down your OWN stuff. Get it out of your head, out of your body and put it on paper.
Pin it to the mirror, burn it in a fire, file it away. Create your own ceremony around your writing to yourself.
In holy wellness,
Nova
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Breasts are cyclical in nature--changing with each month's hormonal shifts. They hold tension, toxins, grief and they also nurture, nourish, and trigger the feel good hormone, oxytocin, when stimulated. Magic, right?
Breast care is more involved than one would think. As a teenager I never considered it significant to care for my breasts. They were just..there. Usually held by a metal underwire bra during the day and a binding sports bra at night (yikes, I know). I thought of them as more of a nuisance than absolute, mind blowing, multi-purpose LIFE GIVING boobies.
Lymphatic breast massage is a great way to move stagnant energy and lymphatic fluid in and around the breast tissue, especially if you wear a bra everyday. The lymphatic drainage system can only do its job well if we are regularly moving.If our breasts are contained all day, they aren't able to move as they are supposed to. Toxins build up over time and can cause issues if your breasts are stagnant. The practice of massaging your body (not just breast massage!) is easy and effective (especially for your nervous system) and allows you to tap into that inner knowledge we all have, taking your health into your loving hands. You'll start to recognize changes within your body through your natural cycles when you adopt a regular massage practice and what's not to love about that?
You'll first want to begin by stimulating lymph flow in the armpit. Do this by placing your left hand on your right armpit and using your fingertips to PUMP inward and upward about 10 times. Again, a slight burning tenderness is normal and may subside as you continue (this is the lymph moving). Then pump the entire breast into your chest wall, moving the energy toward your armpit. You'll notice an increase in warmth and circulation to the area, which is what you want.
Next, grab your entire breast with both hands comfortably and PULL the entire breast up and toward your armpit a few times. This is a sort of continuation of the pumping only you're really moving the breast now. Listen to your body's signals and follow.
Because the lymph in your upper breast drains differently you'll want to give it some extra attention. Cupping the bottom of your right breast with your right hand, push the upper quadrant of your breast with the PALM of your left hand. Your focus here is to move that energy toward your right clavicle (collarbone). If you find your pecks or shoulder muscles are sore you may want to focus your energy on this step a bit longer as it can really help soothe that soreness. Flow with your body and move the energy.
Lastly, with your breast in your hands you want to PUSH your breast back into the chest wall, draining the back of the breast. This will feel really nice to your muscles as well.
Ready to level up your breast care game? Check out the most lovely Breast + Lymphatic Oil: Violet + Rosemary and let us know what you think!
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Día de Muertos has been growing in popularity outside of Latin America in the last few years thanks to social media and films being made around the theme of celebrating the Day of the Dead. It is a holiday rooted in pre-Hispanic tradition, mostly associated with Mexico. On the first two days of November, observers invite the spirits of deceased loved ones to join them in the mortal realm, to share space and love. November first is called Día de los Inocentes or Día de los Angelitos, and is a day to remember and love the spirits of dead children and infants (and yes, even pregnancy loss!) The second is Día de los Difuntos, when the adults are honored.
For a solemn and spiritual observance, however, Día de Muertos is a festive, bright, and joyous occasion for many. It is a celebration of life, a chance to be rejoined by the spirits of loved ones for a night and to appreciate the living more deeply. It is a beautiful tradition rooted in family.
You don't have to be Mexican to celebrate this love-filled holy day, but there should absolutely be a level of respect for culture and tradition. Here are a few Do's and Don'ts on honoring Día de Muertos authentically and without appropriation or offense.
1. DO - Ask Yourself Why?
Are you wanting to paint your face and wear a big hat because it's on trend right now? Are you choosing to observe this holiday because it's 'fun' and stretches Halloween out a few more days? If so, then maybe reconsider. Do some research into the history of Día De Muertos, and how it's observed throughout Mexico and Latin America. Don't do it for the Likes - that's appropriation. Do it because you love the friends and family you've lost along the way, and you want to commemorate them beautifully.
2. DON'T - Think This is Another Cinco De Mayo
Cinco de Mayo, which is actually not observed in Mexico (we'll talk about THAT another time), is seen here in the US as a day to wear sombreros and serapes and drink cheap tequila hasta la madre. Cultural appropriation aside, Día de Muertos is not a time to get drunk and party your face off. This is a family centered holiday, and although it can be lively and joyous, it's still a spiritual occasion.
3. DO - Build An Altar with Ofrendas
The benchmark custom of the holiday, altars are built in your home or by the graves of deceased loved ones. The Altar de Muertos is often decorated in bright colors like orange and purple, with traditional sugar skulls, Mexican marigolds, photos of the deceased, and ofrendas. An 'ofrenda' is an offering, gifts to the spirits of relatives to coax them into coming back into this realm to reconnect with their living relatives. On the 1st of November, the souls of children are offered toys and sweets, then on the Second, the adults receive such offerings as Pan de Muerto, alcohol, marigolds, and tobacco, or anything that person was fond of.
4. DON'T - Make it a Halloween Costume
Día de Muertos is not Halloween. It is absolutely cultural appropriation to take the traditional face paintings of Las Catrinas and iconography of the sugar skulls and use them to play dress up. This holiday isn't mean to be jokey, or spooky. It's a deeply traditional and spiritual celebration.
5. DON'T - Buy Pan or Sugar Skulls From A Chain Grocer
With this becoming a more mainstream holiday, items such as sugar skulls, Catrinas, Calacas, and Pan de Muerto can be found in most chain grocery stores these days. Instead of giving your money for another mass-produced, appropriated product, find a local Mexican baker or general store at which to shop. There are many Latinx small business owners putting a lot of heart into their cultural traditions - support them.
6. DO - Visit Deceased Loved Ones
These days are, after all, of thinning veils and reconnecting with the spirits of those we've lost. Take some time on these days to visit a relatives graveside, if you can, to leave some marigolds and to send them your love and prayers. If you can't visit their grave physically, take some quiet time to meditate and remember them from afar. It's a beautiful time to reconnect with our ancestors and be humbled by our own mortality.
7. DO - Tell Their Stories
Tell the stories of the ones you know, dream of the stories of the ones who left too soon. Speak their names. Remember the relatives and loved ones you knew well, tell the living of their memory. Ground yourself in knowing we are all connected and their spirits are all around you tonight.
Do the research. Observe the real practices. Take this spiritual festival and find your space to hear the voices of loved ones lost. There's a good chance your city or county has some form of event going, too. But also, understand this - even if you do it all right, you may still come under scrutiny. The distinction between appropriation and appreciation is hazy and different for many. If someone confronts you, listen to their heart. We are all here to evolve, to vibrate higher, to do better.
Buen provecho, amigos.
~Sarah
]]>As a mother of 4 girls, I have found it's never too early to introduce your daughter to what a woman's body is capable of.
Maybe your toddler busts in to the restroom while you are changing your pad and ask you, in horror, why you're bleeding and why you are hurt. This is an opportunity to softly respond with true, simple statements so that they see it as normal. "I'm not hurt! This is just what a woman's body does every month. It means there is no baby in my body!" Maybe even tell them that when they are women they will get a period too, and that there will be a celebration! I find that answering their questions gives them the exact information they need, no less no more. As they grow older they will begin to ask more detailed questions. This is a good thing! And what is so beautiful about this process is that if you don't know the answer, you can both research it together!
-Here are a few ways that we have prepared my daughters for their moon cycle-
Every once in a while a really awesome video comes across my newsfeed on social media (like this one) about a girls changing body and I always watch it and save it for later to watch with my girls. Of course the video always brings up more questions and this is a perfect opportunity for you to connect with your kiddos and answer their questions, letting them know that you are a safe place to come to when they have questions about their body. Approaching these subjects the same way you you teach them how to wash their butt normalizes the process so that there is no shame come time for puberty.
There are many books available for girls of all ages to learn about changes with their bodies. Mighty Girl has a TON of book options. My personal favorite book for my teenager was Reaching for the Moon by Lucy H. Pearce. This particular author has several books that I have read/want to read, including Moon Time for us grown adults. The Moon Within is another great read.
I remember when my body started producing cervical fluid and I thought it was snot coming out of me from sinus drainage. Can you imagine being a 6th grader and not understanding that what was happening to your body was completely normal? Talk to your daughter about healthy secretion and fertility. Talk to them about smells and colors and what a healthy period should look like. Teach them how to chart their cycle and why it's important to understand the entire cycle, not just the bleeding bits. This is truly sex ed 101 and the more they understand about their body the better they are able to protect themselves. HERE is a great example of a teen cycle chart.
Fathers and Mothers can create ceremony in everything you do. I find teaching your children how to live in ceremony gives them the tools they need to aid them when emotions are all over the place (like hormonal shifts). You are setting them up for the future. I love to sit in ceremony with the moon cycle while working with the elements:
Earth: simply sitting with the earth, flowers, or trees is lovely and grounding. The earth has a way of calming when tension and anxiety looming. Gardening is another lovely way to connect with the earth. You can give your daughter her very own herb garden and plant herbs that aid with period discomfort like Cinnamon, Raspberry Leaf, Red Clover, Alfalfa, Oatstraw, Passionflower, Chamomile Flowers, Passionflower, Valerian, and Lemon Balm, all found in our Moon Cycle herbal tea.
Air: breath work is an easy and effective way to calm nerves. You can do this together, even if you only have 5 minutes. You can even practice breath work with our I Am Cyclical crystal meditation bracelet.
Fire: burn incense, create a fire ceremony, or forage for herbs to make a smoke medicine stick. Your daughter may find favorite incense that she feels transforms the energy around her. This is a great way to support her finding what works as a self coping tool.
Water: make her an herbal bath on hard days. Teach her about herbs that relax and ease nerves and use epsom salts to help replenish necessary minerals in the body. Teach her to pray intentions into this bath as she drops the salt and herbs into the water. Teach her to submerge herself in love, leaving all worries behind. You can also find a body of water, which is always rejuvinating.
This was one of my daughter's favorite things to do! We had a lot of fun looking at all of the different alternative menstrual products out there and she is anxious to try different things to see what works for her body. She decided that she would like to keep a pair of period panties, some pads, panty liners, wipes, and a Moon Time roller in a small bag that she keeps in her backpack. Teach her how to use the materials!!! I remember trying to use a tampon for the first time and it just didn't make sense to me until I saw visuals. Find videos and pictures and discuss the anatomy of the womb space (so important ladies!). We've discussed what she needs to do if she is away from home when her first cycle comes so that she feels prepared, too. Encourage her to develop a relationship with the school nurse so that she feels comfortable seeking advice from another woman (and getting supplies should she need them).
My husband has 4 daughters and we hide nothing from him in regards to bodily function talk. He hears about blood, fluids, hormonal shifts, tears... he hears it all. I believe this creates a normalcy around the functions of the body and deters any shame that some of us have experienced in the past. If you have a man in the house, send him to get a package of pads (or whatever you use). If you are a man and raising a daughter solo, stock up the bathroom with menstrual products as an act of love and understanding. Let your daughter know that you are there to help should she need anything. If she has questions you do not know how to answer, shoot us a message. We have a ton of resources for the two of you to research together!
Tracking your menstrual cycle is easy peasy these days. I use an app called Kindara that let's you input data every day so that you can see where you are in your cycle. It also has many informational videos that are helpful to even the seasoned gal. Your daughter will be able to poke around and learn, preparing for her cycle.
My thirteen year old is very impatiently awaiting her period. Her entire life I have had the opportunity to explain to her how beautiful her cycle can be and how to learn from the shedding of old. She understands how this can be a special time for her to live in ceremony. One ceremony can be a simple honoring of blood shed. Maybe she invites her friends over in circle and they share stories and sip on tea. Perhaps you create a beautiful nook for her to sit when she needs space, as we know how blood shed calls for solitude. Talk about how she might want to honor this time in her life so that she has something to look forward to rather than something to fear and dread.
Great gifts to surprise her with are our Menstrual Support Ritual products, the Confidence Code journal, some chocolate (We love Chocolita), some cloth pads, and other things that I randomly pick up that I think she might need or want.
Lastly, remember that other women are here for you. We can ALL learn something from each other and we all have our own experiences that contribute to a collective wisdom. You can join our private community the Sage Woman Circle to ask questions!
Aremisa of Indigenous Remedies says
For mine, I started with reproductive anatomy very early. Helping them understand where their uterus was located. We also did and still do a lot of talk around diet during pre-moon (now it's more like reminding them about the sugar intake and that whole teenage diet). Simple herbs for cramps. And taking time to rest and honoring the emotions. If there was anything I wish I had known, and soon discovered, my girls did not want me to make a big deal out of their transition. They wanted to sleep 🤣 No ceremonies, no long talks. I also learned that not all of their knowledge was going to come from me. They talked to their friends, googled stuff on their own. And I had to be okay with that. 💚
What would you add? Tell us in the comments!
Looking for a way to connect to your own moon cycle? Check out our full Menstrual Support Ritual line HERE
]]>Golden Milk is having a MOMENT, ya'll. She goes by many names - Goldie, Golden Latte, Turmeric Latte, and probably a zillion more. A warming, spicy blend of herbs and roots with a coconut milk powder twist, Honey & Sage's proprietary Golden Milk is the absolute queen of wellness tonics. She battles inflammation. She boosts the immune system. She nurtures the digestive system. Mix yourself up one of these DELICIOUS Golden Milk lattes for the perfect evening beverage.
HONEY BUTTER GOLDEN MILK
Ingredients:
Boil the water by whichever method you prefer. Put the Golden Milk, butter, honey and hot water in your blender and mix for at least 30 seconds. Add in a splash of your preferred milk, to taste. Bust out your favorite mug and enjoy!
VANILLA BUTTERSCOTCH GOLDEN MILK
Ingredients:
Boil your water. Put the Golden Milk, vanilla, butterscotch chips and hot water in your blender and mix for at least 30 seconds. Adding milk may or may not be necessary, depending on how much butterscotch you used. This one's a little on the sweet side, perfect for after dinner.
MEXICAN HOT CHOCOLATE GOLDEN MILK
Ingredients:
Okay this one is a bit more labor intensive but YOU GUYS it tastes like a combination of my childhood and heaven. She's a chocolatey, cinnamony, spicy and indulgent wellness treat. Get your milk into a saucepan over medium heat, and add in the Mexican chocolate. Let it simmer, stirring every so often until the chocolate is completely dissolved. Then throw it into the blender with your Golden milk, let it blitz for thirty seconds, and prepare to have your mind blown by the goodness. Imma sit here and wait for ya'll to tell me how you like this one.
There is no end to the possibilities here, ya'll. Try them all and then tell us what you think. YOUR REVIEWS ARE IMPORTANT!! Drop us a line if you've tried our Golden Milk (or any of our provisions!)
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Our family recently celebrated May Day (Mayday/Beltane) and with it brought awareness of rebirth and beginning anew. Spring time does that. The flowers blooming invokes both absolute joy and, unfortunately for me, allergies.
I was tending to my garden today and while I was sneezing uncontrollably I was reminded that rebirth is not only a representation of the season, but a reminder that this is the time to detox our body's natural purification system and refresh our cells. Lucky for us, our creator provides and mama earth gifts us with beautifully abundant plant allies that support the detoxification process. I often find "weeds" in my very own yard that are readily available for me to snatch right up and eat. If that's not your thing we got ya covered!
It is important for me to mention that we (as humans) are an intricate system and holistic care is the healthiest approach to vitality and overall well being! This means taking in to account how not only our physical body needs support, but also our spiritual body as well as our mental health. Lifestyle plays a huge role in our health, so do what you can, when you can, where you can. We all have access to Holy Wellness!
So with that in mind, here are a few of my favorite herbs that support detoxification!
With the liver being the center of the body's natural purification system it is vital we support the process. Dandelion is a diuretic, meaning it makes ya pee a lot. It is packed full of minerals that our body needs, improving the function of the liver and gall bladder. There are many ways to prepare dandelion such as an herbal tea or capsule but my favorite way to work with this plant is to tincture the root as a digestive bitter and use it on salads or simply drop it under my tongue! Dandelion leaf is known to reduce water retention and bloating, which is why we include it in our Pregnancy Tea blend.
Yup, that pretty little flower that we all inspected for the lucky 4 leaves as a child is a plant allie. Red Clover is a great lymphatic remedy, supporting healthy flow and detoxification, and clearing stagnant energy. Red clover is also a source of many valuable nutrients including calcium, chromium, magnesium, potassium, and vitamin c. In fact, we've use it in our Moon Time herbal tea blend to help support a healthy menstrual period.
Calendula is one of those herbs with a list of supportive benefits that goes on forever. It is known to support healthy liver and gall bladder function as well as aid in lymphatic toning. Because of its many benefits, this plant allie has been used for a variety of skin issues, to heal cuts and burns, for immune function, inflammation, viruses, the list goes on. It is a warming herb and can aid in digestive function which is why we include it in our Sacral Balance Sexual and Digestive Tonic tea!
Take a walk in your neighborhood (or in your own backyard!) and see if you can identify any of these lovely beings. They are here to aid in our healing journey and guide us in connecting to our ancestor's ways.
And as always, remember to do what you can, when you can. There is no wrong or right way to Holy Wellness, just YOUR way, Without Judgement.
☀️Happy May Day, loves!☀️ What a time to celebrate! We as a collective are processing A LOT right now. You may feel heavy and dark. You may want to stay in bed and cry, or numb, or grieve all the shit. And that’s ok.
Our ancestors were no stranger to hard times. They survived hardships and experiences that I can’t even wrap my head around. They also knew how to celebrate!
Let us tap in to the energy of our ancestors and find the light. It’s calling us☀️ Today I’m teaching my girls of the Celtic traditions and I thought I’d share. Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to take a walk outside and pick some wildflowers too.
🌸Make a flower crown with wildflowers
🌸Bake some bread and smother it with honey! (Bee’s represent fertility)
🌸Sprinkle dried herbs in a white candle. You can use some of the calendula in the Sacral Balance tea we sent out in the April Care Package!
🌸Build a (bon)fire and feast around it
🌸Write your intentions on ribbon and hang them from tree branches
🌸Bake sugar cookies and decorate them with flowers
🌸Write your intention on an egg and bury it in your garden, or in a pot of flowers
🌸Decorate your home with yellow flowers
🌸Wear white
🌸Drink peppermint herbal tea
There are no rules when it comes to finding your ritual or ceremony. The intent of the ceremony is what truly matters.
Looking for a delicious spring herbal tea? Try our Nourish tea, made with refreshing organic peppermint leaf!
1. A Sage Woman Care Package
A Sage Woman Care Package arrives each month as a physical reminder to SLOW DOWN and create space for self-care. Whether it is a monthly subscription or you decide to send one package, women constantly tell us that the Sage Woman Care Package is the best part of the month because it signals them to set aside time for themselves.
2. A Rad Skin Care Ritual
Organic. Small batch. Made by 3 mother's who GET IT. Send her a daily ritual she will actually use.
3. A Sage Woman Journal
The Sage Woman Journal is a guide women through a woman's seasons and cycles. This open calendar journal is for the woman who is ready to dig deeper and reach her highest potential. Inside:
4. A Photo Empowerment Session
It's far too often that mothers end up feeling dumpy, with hair in a messy bun, the same worn out shirt (grab a new one from up above!), trying to survive the daily hustle of mom-life. A photo empowerment session could be JUST the thing to help shift the narrative and give mom a new perspective of herself. If you are in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, I HIGHLY recommend Brandi Mata Johnson of Kindred Photographer. She has a way of capturing women in the most beautiful way.
5. Something DELICIOUS + Helpful to Eat
Sometimes new moms need some additional support in the milk-making department. Sometimes, moms just need a damn good snack. Cookie Abamu of Mylk by Cookie, makes THE MOST DELICIOUS treats to support lactation. BUT, all her goodies can be consumed by lactating and non-lactating folks. Plus she's got vegan options.
6. A Whole Day at the Spa with other Women
In Dallas we have something amazing called the King Spa. It is a Korean spa that has several rooms, each with their own theme and healing properties. These kinds of spas exist all over the country (just make sure to read your reviews). But my favorite space to hang out is inside the hot tub area. Sounds weird, perhaps, but all the women are naked, in all their glorious sizes, ages, textures, and folds. It feels so.incredibly.powerful. to be in a space where women are their to detoxify without shame. You can upgrade the experience with a yoni steam or an hour-long body brushing, which has the odd sensation of being uncomfortable while also amazing. There's almost always a coupon online, and you can get in and out for about $30 if you don't eat...but the price can definitely go up with meals and additional massages. For Mother's Day, this is GOLDEN.
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Years ago you would have been opening a big fat can of worms by telling your friend and family you were choosing a midwife for your birth, but today, the midwife-led maternity care that’s so common in Europe is now rising throughout America. Birthing with a midwife isn’t just a choice. Given the studies and birth stories out there, it’s finally being seen as a smart choice.
But as great as midwives are proving to be, finding your perfect birth provider may still take contemplation and a little “midwife shopping.” When you’re meeting with potential midwives and getting referrals from other mothers, we have come up with a list of 9 very important things to consider while you’re shopping around.
1. WOMEN'S HEALTH SERVICES
A midwife specializes in prenatal care and birth, but a midwife is a healthcare professional with the potential to care for you before and beyond pregnancy and birth, dealing in all spectrums of reproductive care. The details can vary between states, but often, Certified-Midwives (CM) and Certified Professional Midwives (CPM) are able to perform the annual exams we have gone to gynecologists for, plus they can help us with Family Planning. Certified Nurse-Midwives (CNM) have the same ability to offer care in women’s health, but their nursing degree gives them the capacity to go even further in performing general exams, prescribing medications, caring for menopause, and providing contraceptive services (ie. birth control and IUD’s). The biggest difference here is that a Certified Professional Midwife's (CPM) scope is limited to pregnancy and concludes with the 6 week postpartum checkup. All midwives can have (and often do) have a consulting relationship with a physician when special scenarios arise that may need additional evaluation. It is also worth noting that each state has slightly different rules for midwifery so be sure to check out what the regulations say.
Pregnancy and birth opens the door to creating strong and personal relationships with our Birth Providers. Why not utilize these relationships in other realms of healthcare? By selecting a top-notch midwife now, you can find yourself an ally who can help you with a number of things concerning women’s health.
2.BIRTHPLACE OF CHOICE
A woman should feel safe in her birthing space. Does your home feel coziest to birth in? Would you prefer a birth center to avoid any cleanup (although most midwives will leave the space as they found it or better!)...or does a hospital birth give you the most peace of mind? Midwives work in all these spaces. This factor is pressing in determining who your ideal midwife would be, however, there are other considerations which you may find are even more important in planning for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.
3. PRESENCE (ATTENTION)
What does the midwives attendance actually mean-when and with whom? Doctors have been notorious for limiting their availability to “business hours,” and this has left women with a lack of security and a push for induction. Thus, women are turning to midwives.
However, we can’t assume that our midwife-of-choice will be present for all of our birth or any of it. What if she is attending another birth? We still need to ask about this upfront so that we know what a potential-midwife offers and how. She may prefer to be there from the first hour of active labor, or she may want to be there once you’re fully-dilated and ready to push. She also needs time to make sure she can call in any additional birth attendants, or rearrange a schedule if you are laboring during the day when they hold clinic hours. Communication is key. You won’t know until you ask, and she won’t know what you want until you tell her.
4. BACKUP PLANS (AND ASSISTANCE)
Understanding the Plan A, Plan B, Plan C-section potential outcomes is IMPORTANT. All birthing folks are planning on having a safe and healthy birth — that’s one reason why we’re choosing a midwife, after all — but birth is as simple as it is complicated. Most of the time (as my midwife once told me) a woman can birth all alone on an island and have a normal, uncomplicated birth. BUT, birth can turn in a moment (like a baby!).
I highly recommend searching for a midwife who can appreciate hospital care. While we all want to avoid unnecessary interventions, it’s imperative that your midwife can see where her skills and abilities reach their scope. There’s no room for ego when lives are on the line. A professional midwife will understand when her scope has been met and how to safely move on to the next order of operations for the mother/baby couplet's safety.
5. STATS AND NUMBERS
Your midwife should easily handle your questions about emergent situations and should help put your mind at ease. How many births turn into emergencies? What’s the rate for c-sections and other interventions? These are obvious questions we would ask a birth provider at a hospital, and that’s expected. However, we also need to be asking non-hospital midwives questions like: What is your fetal mortality rate? How many births become hospital transfers? What’s your success rate with delivering big babies/premature babies/babies with shoulder dystocia/mothers with a small pelvis/etc.
If you’re concerned about something like, say, you and your partner having a family history of large babies, this is just the thing that needs to be discussed not just before birth but before deciding on a birth provider. You want to make sure that your midwife has the skills and experience to catch your babe on your delivery. In order for you to focus on birthing a healthy and happy baby, you need a midwife who offers safety and quality care. This is crucial to a safe and meaningful birth, so don’t be afraid to ask these questions. Your well-being and your babies depend on it.
6. PREFERENCES
Share your preferences with your midwife. Midwives are often perceived as hardcore hippies, so we expect one to be down with outdoor births and delayed cord clamping. In actuality, midwives are as diverse as women as they are in their midwifery practice. You won’t know what your midwife supports or opposes until you discuss these things with her.
Make sure that your midwife is on board with whatever preferences you may have regarding birthing positions, newborn vaccinations, handling the placenta, cutting the cord, or (my personal favorite preference) getting hospital staff to relax on the ole' uterine pushing. You may find that things you had originally intended to skip become things that you decide to do. Personally, I had declined the Vitamin K shot for my two birth center births and I had planned on doing it for my hospital birth with my new midwife. However, when I discussed this with her, she shared her thoughts plus stats and a compilation of papers on the science and reasoning behind Vitamin K. After doing my own reading, I decided that this was something I actually supported.
Sharing your preferences with your midwife is as important for having your preferences accommodated, as well as making well-informed decisions and being confident in your choices.
7. BIRTH PROCEDURES (SKILLS)
A trained midwife should be comfortable with emergency skills, but it is worth discussing to help you better understand their work. Ideally we go into labor and we can give birth without any belly monitors, snipping, stitching, or the like. However, our desired birth may call for exceptions when things like dropping heart rates, "failure to progress", and shoulder dystocia comes into play.
Is your midwife skilled in procedures like episiotomies, stitching tears, heart rate monitoring, and mauevering with shoulder dystocia? Does she feel comfortable with performing them and does she feel confident in knowing when they’re warranted and necessary?
I discovered the importance of this with my first birth when my labia tore at the middle (my baby had a large head thanks to my own genetic contribution). When it came time to stitch me up, I become the head midwife’s live stitching demonstration for all of the other midwives and trainees. They hadn’t seen it before. I’m sure a busted labia made for awkward work, but the midwives at my birthing center didn’t seem to have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. The region changed and it took a year for it to feel normal again. As for the physical appearance, that never went back to normal. Maybe there was no other way for things to be, but then perhaps I would have experienced another outcome by more experienced hands.
It’s important to consider situations like these so that you know what to expect in possible birth scenarios. It also gives you the chance to come up with back-up plans that ensure you feel supported and taken care of no matter wherever and however birth happens. Again, communication is KEY.
8. SUPPORT (CARE)
Mothers should birth where and with whom they feel safest. Birthing can be a deeply vulnerable and intimate experience, so (outstanding) support is CRITICAL. Make sure that you have a midwife who can give you precisely the kind of care you need. This is one point where no woman should have to settle or make exceptions. Your body, your baby, your birth.
Whatever you think you’ll want and whatever you think you’ll need… Tell your midwife! If you want a dimly-lit room, hip-pressing, a massage, visualization meditations, a bath, essential oils, or even the seemingly-obvious coaching through hours of contractions, then say so. Yes, a partner or doula or friend could also do these things, but your midwife is there to assist YOU through YOUR BIRTH. If they aren’t open to assisting you the way you need them be assisted, then find a midwife who is. Ask the midwife what kind of midwife she is--hands on, hands off? Each woman has her own needs and each midwife has her own style.
Finding the perfect midwife for your birth sounds like a lot of work, but really…. It just takes advocating for you. Know who you are, and what you want, and know that you deserve it. Once you have that figured out, finding your ideal midwife will be a piece of cake.
9. Cultural Competency
Lived experience and culture matters. We know that we often do better when we feel understood in our lived experiences. Because emotions can run high in pregnancy, it is important to be able to feel that your care provider can empathize with us. While it is by no means a requirement to birth with a midwife who looks like us, having shared cultural experiences, language, and even particular birthing or postpartum traditions can impact the pregnancy journey. Some women may have to purposefully seek out a midwife to meet these requirements, but being culturally aligned can help improve birth and postpartum outcomes and expectations.
The Sacral Chakra in Sanskrit is called Svadhisthana. Broken down, swa means "one's own" and adhisthana means "home or abode."
The Sacral Chakra is often talked about in relation to sexuality because of its connection to passion and pleasure. However, the need to feel passion and pleasure extends to family, work, daily life, our past-times, relationships, and (especially) our relationship with ourselves. How we flow is how we go, and that is true for feminine and masculine energy.
Because the Sacral Chakra is our source of creative expression, the work we do with this chakra will help to know what fulfills us. It's creativity, creation, emotion, flow, reproductive and digestive movements. It helps us absorb what we need and eliminate what no longer serves us.
Having this chakra in balance is key to the expressive force of your nature. How we flow is how we go.
Before I dive in, it’s important to note that the Sacral Chakra varies between men and women. Lisa Erickson, chakra-based energy worker and blogger at Mommy Mystic, wrote a blog post series on women and the Sacral Chakra which I highly recommend reading. But for now, you can read about our beginner’s guide to tools, materials, and processes which can help you to restore and balance your Sacral Chakra.
AFFIRMATION: I Express My Creative Power
Whether we’re being wildly-creative or we’re being dull and mundane, we are still creating. Knowing your creative power and owning that creative power is key to reclaiming your power and your life. Nevertheless to reclaiming the energy and function of the chakra!
MANTRA: Vam
The beauty of this mantra is that it’s just as helpful in sitting in traffic as it is in meditation. That’s because the benefits of the mantra aren’t in going blank, but rather, they are within the sound. Strive to say this mantra with a slow and deep vibration. This vibration produces a frequency which resonates with the frequency of the Sacral Chakra. If you find yourself feeling uninspired or anxious, try vibrating this mantra to see how it affects your mental/emotional state. Sitting in 5 o’clock traffic is the perfect place for this.
GEMSTONES: Orange Calcite, Tiger’s Eye, Carnelian, Moonstone, and Pyrite
There are a number of crystals and gemstones which benefit the Sacral Chakra. If you want to get a comprehensive understanding of what stones to use and how they interact with the chakra, I recommend reading The Crystal Bible by Judy Hall.
To work with your crystals and stones, you can simply wear them as pendants or place one in your pocket. If you want to go deeper with your Sacral Chakra work, you can mediate with them, or simply lie down with the stones placed on the energy center. As you hold or lie with your stones contemplate, “What inspires me? What do
I have to express? What is holding me back from being passionate and from expressing myself in all my true and unique and enthusiastic splendor?”
Our mala prayer bracelet--I Am Fierce-- is made with pyrite, tiger’s eye and carnelian to magnify the strength that comes from the sacral chakra.
ESSENTIAL OILS: Bergamot, Cardamom, Neroli, Orange, Patchouli, Rose, Sandalwood, and Frankincense
A number of essential oils can benefit the Sacral Chakra. The ideal oil for you will vary because they posses different properties that offer different benefits. Soothing oils like Ylang Ylang, Neroli, and Rose can be used to calm and nurture while an oil like Cardamom, Bergamot, Sweet Orange and Rosemary can be used to stimulate the energy center.
Essential oils can be applied to the soles of the feet for overall benefits, or they can be applied topically by rubbing them over the Sacral Chakra region (remember to dilute oils with a carrier oil as needed) or adding them to a diffuser, like our Fierce Mala Aromatherapy Bracelet.
For essential oil treatment plus some chakra-boosting self-care, you can try our soothing I Am Abundant Salt Soak and energizing Focused Intentions Aura Mist. There’s also our Frankincense and Neroli Body Oil which will nourish skin and the sacral chakra center. A bath soak followed by self-massage is a powerful self-care tool, especially when extra focus is paid to the womb area.
HERBS: Calendula, Hibiscus, Ginger, Licorice, Mint, and Cinnamon
Tea and herbal infusions are two of the easiest (and healthiest and cheapest) ways to treat your Sacral Chakra with herbs. We created our Sacral Balance Herbal Tea for this reason. It’s a blend of shatavari, calendula, cinnamon, ginger, and chicory root which acts to activate, soothe, and restore the Sacral energy center, sip after nutritive-and-energetic-sip.
ELEMENT: Water
With water being the element of the Sacral Chakra, this is the perfect opportunity to tap into this chakras creativity by developing your own practices for healing, balancing, and maintaining the Sacral Chakra.
Some of the many practices you could try include:
MUDRA: Shakti Mudra
The concept of Shakti is so vast and complex to cover here, but if there’s one thing we know, it’s that Shakti is power. Shakti is the creative instinct which makes things manifest, and Shakti is also the lifeforce energy within all things. Shakti Mudra is said to act upon the pelvic region. This can be as especially powerful mudra for women because we connect our womb and all of its creative powers with the womb and creative powers of Shakti. Alternatively, it can be a powerfully-balancing mudra for men. Check out Yogapedia’s Shakti Mudra tutorial and see what it does for you.
POSE: Butterfly Pose
Marlene Smits of Ekhart Yoga recommends using Baddha Konasana (Butterfly Pose) for balancing the Sacral Chakra, as well as Upavista Konasana, Pelvic Tilts, Kundalini Lotus, and Sufi Grind. Triangle Pose is also Sacral-worthy.
FEELING: Passion
A balanced sacral chakra enables us to be passionate, creative, and to take pleasure in life. This passion can be seen in our sexual expression and our creativity in our work, but it can just as well be seen in how we spend our free time, the new things we try (and the old things we let go), our ability to be flexible and have fun, the healthy boundaries we have for our lives, and the fulfilling standards we are (always) developing for ourselves and our relationships with others. Get the passion flowing back through you with things like:
Need more support to begin healing through your Sacral Chakra? Check out our Creative Expression Sacral Collection as the perfect care package to begin your journey.
I’m gonna ask you how you feel.
]]>One of my best friends is a chiropractor, and her favorite thing to holler at me about is not waiting until times of crisis to seek care. That message applies to all parts of self care, right? Like, don’t wait until your teeth are rotting out of your head to go get a cleaning. Or don’t wait until you’re one “hey mom” away from losing your shit before you ask for help. Basically, self-care is only made more difficult by waiting to tend to it in crisis.
Well, guess what fam. We are in the middle of an EVERYBODY crisis. Every life you know is in some way impacted by the uncertainty and imminence of the COVID-19 outbreak, and by the social collateral of a global pandemic. We are in the middle of not only a life-threatening outbreak, but a life-altering social disturbance like our generation as never seen. Schools and public spaces are closed. We are all looking down the barrel of working from home while homeschooling our kids and leaving the house only out of necessity, without any physical proximity to our friends and loved ones, for who knows how long.
And as our resident extrovert and entertainer with a history of anxiety and depression I am here to fucking tell you this is A LOT. But I’m not going to climb onto a Coronavirus soapbox. I’m not going to tell you to stay at home (because you already know you should) and I’m not going to tell you to wash your hands.
I’m gonna ask you how you feel. I mean how you really feel. Look in the mirror. Are you scared? Are you anxious or sad? How about angry?
I’m pissed, ya’ll. I’m mad as hell because I swear, right before this caca hit the fan, I felt closer to having my shit together than I had in a full decade. I found the right supplements. I was writing consistently. I had started my grazing table business. I was back in the gym and I felt like I was moving forward. It took me years to get there, and now I feel like I’m taking several steps back with anxiety attacks, short temper, sugar and alcohol binges and lack of movement. I am acutely aware of exactly how this uncertainty and financial insecurity and isolation are affecting me (and my family.) I just haven’t found the right balance to counter it. But I have to.
I have to dig into understanding why I’m angry and why I feel robbed and hopeless. I have to work on finding NEW balance and momentum in whatever the fuck this new normal is. Because I can do hard things, and because self care in times of crisis means a little more work. For me, I didn’t actually wait until crisis to tend to the care I needed so maybe some the groundwork is already laid, for whatever that’s worth.
But this is a new kind of crisis, and we need to dig into where we are, plant new seeds and bloom where now find ourselves planted, so that we can regrow ourselves and flourish in these weird and lonely times. For you and for me and for the people we’re trying to save, now more than ever we have to prioritize our self-care in the form of transparency and vulnerability with ourselves and each other. Intentional communication with our partners to avoid quarantine fights. Serious mirror therapy - talking our your feelings with yourself. Open vulnerability with our children and dependents about how this is new for ALL of us and we’re all going to have hard moments. All of the virtual hangouts with the people who make you better, who bring you joy, who love you. Maybe new habits, maybe more journaling, new schedules and basic structure. Definitely new boundaries, in a time where close quarters are all we’ve got.
And if you need someone to talk to, drop us a line in our Facebook group, Sage Woman Circle. It’s a whole lot of women who are moving through this together. Let’s use that space to lean into each other and find a light in all this darkness.
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Femicide
/ feme,sīd /
Noun
the killing of a woman or girl, in particular by a man and on account of her gender
Photo credit: Memphis Noticias
Mexico is fractured right now. Tearing apart at the seams because one half of its population is subjected to a scourge of violence and abuse at the hands of the other. On average, ten women a day are murdered in Mexico on the basis of gender. It’s estimated that fewer than 5% of these crimes against women are resolved, and even then the consequences are minor. Imagine what it must be, to wonder every day if today is your day.
Not because you deserve it. Not because you’re poor or rich or white or of color or in or out of shape. Not because you were ‘asking for it.’ Not even because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but simply you are female. Domestic violence. Rape and assault. Rage. Just a few of the bitter flavors of femicide (not exclusive to Mexico, by the way.)
Mexican women have been taking their stands, protesting, singing and marching, even as far as rioting to demand change, to demand consequence. Mexico is dominated by patriarchal society, and the roots of this gender based hatred and disdain run deep, deeper than can be undone without enormous work on behalf of every single person with free will. But not everybody is ready to face that - many men (and even some women) ridicule the movement, spewing misogynistic vitriol based on little more than ego and contempt.
Feminist activists have called for a nationwide, sex-wide protest. On March 9th, 24 hours ‘without women,’ a day for the state to get a taste of what life is like without the work of womankind. No going to work, or doing the shopping, or using public transportation. Lots of companies and business, including corporations, entertainment and news outlets, and stores and restaurants have shown support for their female employees who have chosen to participate. Those women who cannot be absent for fear of losing their jobs or bound by unbreakable commitments are invited to show solidarity by wearing purple that day.
There will also be marches taking place on Sunday the 8th, International Women’s Day. While that’s a day that many of us across the world acknowledge and even celebrate, I’d like to invite you to stand with our sisters in Mexico on Monday. Perhaps absenting yourself from responsibility and society might not be the expression you choose, perhaps you choose to wear purple. Perhaps you choose to stand with a sign making a statement of solidarity.
But I beg you, please choose to speak. If we are complacent, we are complicit. In whatever form you feel called to, speak out. Use the hashtags #undiasinnosotras, a day without us. Crimes made on the basis of sex are not foreign, not someone else’s problem. The victims of these crimes are us. Now is the time to stand. Before the devastating tide of femicide swallows us, not whole but in pieces. #niunamenos
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I’ve had 4 babies, every pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum different from the other. But the one thing that mattered the most to me was preparing for postpartum with my last 3, which I think many of us forget about until it’s too late and you’re in emergency mode with a baby on your breast, feeling weepy and not sure what to do about it. I wanted to share my favorite tools that supported an easy transition into motherhood but first, let’s talk rest. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Stay in bed, even when visitors come over. Let them pick up if the mess of your home bothers them. Let them come to you to visit and see what postpartum is really like for a mother. It’s not your job to put on a show.
Let them come to you to visit and see what postpartum is really like for a mother. It’s not your job to put on a show.
Now on to my favorite tools:
🤱🏽 Himalayan Salt Lamp- I had one of these on my nightstand so that I wouldn’t have to turn on blue light (which interrupts sleep patterns) in the middle of the night for diaper changes or restroom breaks. It gives off a nice radiance that’s super relaxing too.
🤱🏽After Pains-I found Wishgarden Herbs Baby Blues and After Ease really helped with my cramps (those after pains😳) and emotional well-being.
🤱🏽 Restroom Breaks- oiy. Using the toilet after I had my first was excruciating for weeks. My recovery was slow and painful. I learned after having my others that squirting herbs onto my perineum and bottom helped tremendously and sped up recovery! Our Postpartum Steaming herbs are great for this! Just pour hot water over the herbs to steep (I used a French press) and put the infusion into a peri bottle to use once they cool off a bit. I just kept the infusion by my toilet and if the herbs were cold I’d add warm water to the bottle.
🤱🏽Hydration- obviously hydration is critical to your recovery and overall well-being. I never had an empty mug at my bedside. I kept a large water bottle with a straw full, as well as a large mug of our Postpartum Herbal Tea, which include herbs to help with hormones, pain, recovery, and milk production. Coconut water mixed with OJ is a nice treat too!
🤱🏽Energy- there were times I felt the energy starting to stagnate around me. I purchased a chamomile hydrosol to freshen my linens and calm the space. We also make the best Aura mists, which act as an energy clearing tool and smell Devine! My favorite is our Energy Purifier!
🤱🏽At Arms Reach- I made sure to have a shelf or nightstand with everything I could possibly need for baby and I so that I didn’t have to get out of bed the first week postpartum. This was important for me so that I could properly rest, especially at night when the baby wakes with a wet diaper.
🤱🏽Womb Massage- it is completely unecessary for your provider to pound on your womb as if they are making a giant batch of pizza dough? This is one of the things I love most about learning your own body. You know how to touch yourself. For me, massaging my womb with respect and reverance was a nightly ritual (still an important part of my Holy Wellness routine!). Our body oils, specifically our Jasmin + Sandalwood Body Oil is a perfect blend of silky smooth oils and light scents to bring you out of a funk, relax your muscles, and glide your loving hands across the space that created another human. *This oil can ALSO be used during labor!
🤱🏽Food- I feel like this is obvious but I made a point to make double batches every time I cooked while pregnant so that I had meals in the freezer for the family while I recovered. Soups freeze easily and they are the perfect food for you as you need easily digestible foods while your organs are finding their way back into place. It’s nice to have friends that bring by food too, though that’s not possible for everyone.
🤱🏽Crafts for other children-my kids LOVE crafts. I was thankful for the craft kits my mother in law put together for my kiddos to entertain themselves while I recovered. Often, the other children are forgotten and have a difficult time dealing with the changes happening so it’s nice to have something fun and special for them to do.
mamasaritah on Instagram says:
Some things that helped me, that are maybe a little less common: gold bond powder for under my boobs for those crazy hormone sweat attacks and heat rash. I also used rescue remedy spray for random anxiety or if I couldn't fall back asleep after waking in the night. Also having some new good audio books for entertainment in bed.
We want to know, what would YOU add to the list?
Sarah of Amor y Queso shared these words in January 2020: So I know the holidays aren't known for stillness, or quiet, or introspection. Rather, the hallmark of the holiday season is business and bustle, parties and ceremony and family time.
Unless you're sick as fuck.
I had a lot of time to think and introspect over our holiday break, as it were. The last in my house to catch the flu, the most affected. I was in a state of 'un-wellness' for literally TWO WEEKS. I spent the first week surviving on bravado and a misplaced sense of duty. That was stupid because the second week was far worse. I have never been so ill, so weak, so absolutely sick. So I changed gears and I made myself REST. I asked for help, and accepted it without guilt or shame. I spent hours doing nothing at all (which is a privilege, I'm aware.) There were some dark days in there, ya'll. Fever dreams that showed me other worlds' versions of me. Hours to weigh my existence, my work, my regrets. I know it sounds dramatic as fuck, but it felt so much like something nearing the end of something else. (Spoiler - it was.) Like the world was closing in around me, like I couldn't even begin to imagine ever feeling right ever again. And boy did that make me THINK. It was like everything I had ever taken for granted was suddenly in question. Because wellness and living got to feeling distant.
Of course, the virus ran its course and I did in fact get well. But in that darkness, in that liminal space, I found a lesson and understanding of where I am in my journey. I, Sarah, am afraid of leaving no legacy outside of my children. Of never having made a wave in the world I live in.
You know those tapes you play in your head? The little catchphrases that get stuck on repeat and mess with your self views? I'm gonna share a couple of mine, since we're here.
"I'm so lazy." "I'm too busy being a mother to work." "I contribute nothing." (I literally wrote something to that effect in my journal today, holy shit.) "Why don't I give a fuck about anything?" Or, in my Gemininity... "You've done plenty. Rest." "You deserve a break."
WHEW. It feels like half the time I'm making excuses for myself and the other half I'm beating myself up for it. Fucking brutal?! What it leads to is MORE OF THE SAME. A vicious cycle of self deprecation, resentment, and stagnancy brought into being by the spells I chant in my mind. There's much exercise to be done in erasing those tapes, in moving out of stagnancy and into liminality so that eventually we can move into the next incarnation.
The difference between stagnancy and liminal space is the TRAJECTORY. In stagnancy, there is wallowing, lingering and the expectation that something is bound to happen even though you aren't doing anything to bring it about. In liminality you're moving through a passage, you're somewhere in the process of becoming something else. There is waiting, but it's intentional. It's convalescence, it's regeneration.
Liminal space is a bridge, even when it feels like quick sand. It's the passage into a new version of you. It's part of the healing process, it's the darkest point before the dawn. The light is just there, on the other end of this corridor of self care and work. We're photos in the darkroom, developing in the dim and quiet into a clearer and more focused self.
UPDATE: Sarah started her charcuterie biz amidst the Covid 19 lockdown in 2020 from her kitchen. She now is accepting orders for her gorgeous grazing boards in her Dallas shop in Deep Ellum as of December 2020. Write down your fears and then let them go for something bigger. Go getcha some, babes.
Want some extra support? Need a real-talk group of women who will love you and also give you advice that you can take or leave? Join our private group, the Sage Woman Circle, on Facebook.
]]>1. Listen to Your Body
Your body doesn’t lie to you. She never has and never will, so part of self-care is learning how to tune in to the information that is freely provided to you by you on a regular basis. Start with a morning check in before you even get out of bed. Take a few minutes to fill your lungs all the way and release all the energy that might have pooled in one particular area. Where do you need to direct your internal love today? What is your body expressing as a need? It is more water, more stretching, a chiropractic adjustment to help with your headaches or stiff neck, more lubrication (ashy knees, creaky shoulders, dry vagina...it all applies!)? She’ll let you know what she needs. Are you paying attention, though?
2. Edit Your Energy Output
It takes an incredible about of energy to be present and genuinely engaged with those around us--especially during the holidays. It might be a difficult decision, but by limiting your travel and visits during the holiday gives you more quality time. Ditching your sanity to squeeze in long car-rides to all of the different family gatherings is not worth it. Pick a few or one or none at all. You don’t have to diffuse yourself in order to show your love.
3. Audit Your Finances
Likewise, money is a form of energy that goes only where you permit it to go. It’s never fun to worry about how to pay the water bill or figure out how to buy your child a holiday gift. So, focus less on gifting disposable items for all of the people and more on those that are nurturing and nourishing for a few people who really appreciate your effort. If you’re really worried about making sure someone receives an actual item, create your own holiday card, (double points) send a letter with a donation receipt made out in your beloved’s name or choose a gift that grows, like an amaryllis bulb (these kits can be found for around $8 at hardware and gardening stores!). And, if you’re really keen on gifting, our apothecary goods are organic and created for different seasons of a woman’s life. If you want to save more energy, send a Sage Woman Care Package, a seasonally-curated box with goods to remind a woman to refill her cup.
4. Drink Your Tea
Bring on the warmth. Making a cup of tea is warming and nourishing to your system, depending on the blend. We love herbal teas because they gently nurture the body with vitamins and minerals, plus they taste beautiful. My favorites during the winter are our Cozy blend, Chamomile Chai and Slow Down. There is ceremony to the process, too. It’s just short enough to keep your engaged and just long enough for the ritual to feel special. So, boil your water, steep your herbs, and slowly enjoy the steam as it licks your face right before you sip. Your body and nerves will thank you for this quiet, renewing time.
5. Spend Some Extra Time Loving Your Body
Touch all the places gently that you normally don’t think of fondly. When you get out of the shower or bath, use some luxurious body oil (I really love our Sandalwood + Jasmine Body Oil) to anoint yourself. Start at your feet, even your toes, and slowly move up your legs, to your trunk, your belly and bottom, then the arms, neck, and shoulders, directing all of the motion to your heart. Tell each of these hard-working parts that you are grateful to them for protecting you, carrying your babes, and giving you shelter. Amen.
6. Deepen Your Emotional Awareness
As the year draws to an end and there is less light, we naturally go inward. We have access to our intuition when we notice our body’s sensations the moment they are expressed. One way to deepen one’s emotional awareness is to work with cards.
The Mother’s Wisdom Deck is a great tool to help focus your intentions while directing your attention to common themes in motherhood and womanhood. Start by writing down an intention (a goal or core feeling you desire) in your journal. Pull a card from the deck, journal about your immediate feelings, and see where the lesson takes you.
7. Deepen Your Roots To Reach Your Highest Potential
Follow the annual ritual of the perennial plants and trees by deepening your own roots. The more rooted we become in our own awareness, the better the chance we have of reaching our highest potential.
That's why we've created the Sage Woman Journal: 12 Month Guide Through Seasons + Cycles. The Sage Woman Journal is a spiral-bound, full-color journal to guide women through the seasons and cycles that are innately natural to us. This multi-year journal is for the woman who is ready to dig deeper and reach her highest self.
With soul-prompts to help you check in with your physical, emotional and spiritual body, you will come to understand your own rhythm and to develop and deepen your awareness of your ever-unfolding transformation.
So, in our LAST full moon of 2019 and this decade, where are you now in your transformation? As we move into winter, our last full moon is in GEMINI--a home of dualities. To wrap up this space and time we should ask ourselves serious questions...
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The daily grind can feel monotonous, especially when we’re running low on fumes, lacking sleep, quality meals, time to decompress, or movement. Mostly, we KNOW how we want to feel. It’s just that sometimes we get in our own way. Also, before your head explodes and you yell at the screen “BUT, DON’T BLAME ME. XYZ HAPPENED OUTSIDE MY CONTROL”--YES, duh, unexpected life happens to us, no doubt. No one’s special in that regard. The difference is we often choose to remain in discomfort because we ALSO know that there will be an uncomfortable experience when we choose a new way of being. Navigating new choices can feel daunting because no matter how you slice it, movement into a new (emotional, physical, spiritual) space requires work.
Each of us has a Gemini-like relationship to ourselves, two sides of a coin--one that is outward facing and one that turns inward constantly. Neither is better, they just are. Within those spheres, we vacillate between regression and transformation. The regression comes from stuck patterns--old traumas we have yet to (decide we are ready to) release. And we experience transformation, which accompanies the decision to lay down new tracks in our paths and to move in a new way despite the traumatic experiences. This is not to lay blame or judgement anywhere in regards to one’s process--we each shift when we’re ready. BUT, the ability to shift is independent soul work. Soul work may come from community care AND self care, but the decision to do the hard, earnest work of transforming is an inside job. It is a job that overlaps seasons, and many choices, and explores triggers, and contemplates reactions. Shift is an unfolding process, repeating the lesson you get--until you GET it.
So, in our LAST full moon of 2019 and this decade, where are you now in your transformation? As we move into winter, our last full moon is in GEMINI--a home of dualities. To wrap up this space and time we should ask ourselves serious questions:
AM I READY?
Am I ready to put away habits that harm me?
Am I ready to take small steps that lead me on a more fulfilling journey (by the way, the destination doesn’t have to be figured out)?
Am I ready to reflect first instead of react?
Can I honor the internal and external versions of myself without compromising the integrity of these intertwined parts?
Feelings are meant to be felt and explored. Reactions are meant to be delivered intentionally. Bodies are meant to be moved--energy (neither spiritual, emotional, or physical) should not be kept stagnant as it is poisonous. Soul work is an integrated process within each cycle we navigate. Some cycles are worth keeping. Some are worth releasing. Our soul work is about discerning which is which.
So, my sage friend, you choose. Do you transform passively--like the wind shaping rocks in a desert? Change will happen, but it will happen TO you. Or, do you choose to transform actively, seeing all your options and deciding what version you want to output?
Either way--TRANSFORM.
Ready to choose your path?
I AM HERE NOW.
What the eff does that even mean? It means quit trying to speed shit up. Hang tight. Don't panic. It means everything is working out for your best good if you can keep your stuff together and work on being your healthiest spirit rather than piece-mealing haphazard choices together.
]]>Here we are--we've entered the busy holiday season and even though the leaves have all fallen and we're entering the cold months, there's still SO MUCH WORK TO DO. So what's the lesson?
I AM HERE NOW.
The full potential of contentment rests in the quietude and stillness of the in between where nothing can be rushed, anticipated, worried about or hoped for. I AM HERE NOW.
What the eff does that even mean? It means quit trying to speed shit up. Hang tight. Don't panic. It means everything is working out for your best good if you can keep your stuff together and work on being your healthiest spirit rather than piece-mealing haphazard choices together.
It means when you take the time to sit still with yourself, your Creator meets you there and inspires you-just like breathing.
INHALE:INSPIRE. Inspire means "the immediate influence of God" and then to "breathe into, to blow upon," according to Google dictionaries. Let your breath give you ease.
Check in with yourself. What habits are you repeating that keep coming back? Because-- you get the lesson you get UNTIL.YOU.GET.IT.
So, how do you react when you are in a tough or uncomfortable situation? Do you clam up, stonewall, explode? How do you process those emotions? Do you ignore them or try to diminish what happened? Do you deny yourself to just feel by numbing with a substance?
When you are complacent you are complicit. Once you're aware of your habits, there's a turning point. That awareness clearly delineates through your choices whether or not you access your highest self.
Sister...you get the lesson you get UNTIL YOU GET IT. Amen.
Your highest self, where you meet your Creator and receive vision, intuition, download--those moments aren't necessarily going to come to you in ecstasy...often they come in darkest, earthiest moments of stillness when the fog clears. How are you're navigating those reactionary choices?
Can you back up? Zoom out? Be still, BE QUIET? Let things fall where there may and settle before you rush in with your choices, decisions, refrains. Like Oprah says, "You are responsible for the energy you create for yourself, and you're responsible for the energy you bring to others."
Our patterns shape our trajectory. So imagine how observing them and redirecting them could shift your life. Claim your life...and reclaim it again and again because self care is soul care. Write down your patterns, observe, and recalibrate with our Sage Woman Journal. It's time for you to be in charge of where you go.
This baby is special because while she does have a (write-in) calendar component that allows you to start whenever you want and keep your schedule tidy, she also is a wellness guide. You'll find:
It is with our greatest hope that the Sage Woman Journal helps you unfold in the intentional way you to desire. SHARE ON FACEBOOK
My cousin's birth announcement text got me thinking about my pregnancies and how important body oiling was for me for several reasons. It covers physical health, mental preparation, and spiritual connection.
Here are 5 reasons why body oiling was an essential practice during my pregnancies.
My cousin recently sent me a text message that said “Im pregnant! It was unexpected but we are so excited! Do you have any advice?” Well, YES. I do. But how do you share the wisdom you’ve accumulated over 4 pregnancies and birth’s over text message?
You can’t.
The text got me thinking about my pregnancies and how important body oiling was for me for several reasons. It covers physical health, mental preparation, and spiritual connection.
Here are 5 reasons why body oiling was an essential practice during my pregnancies.
“Abhyanga provides the means for transdermal absorption of the healing qualities of the material used in the massage, and it helps the skin, which is the largest organ in the body, perform its diverse functions efficiently, whether it is allowing toxins to be released from the body or nourishment to be absorbed by the tissues. It is like oiling the engine of your car — if you do it regularly, your engine will be in peak condition, and give you years and years of trouble-free performance."
I would often get so caught up in my day to day tasks that I forgot about the human growing in my womb. Taking the time to relax and initially touch my belly provided an opportunity for me to whisper prayers and loving messages to her. It also provided an opportunity for me to love on MYSELF. Positive body talk is important, ALWAYS.
Try practicing this meditation next time you oil your belly:
Try not to rush, but don’t feel bad if you can only focus for a few minutes.
You develop over time. It’s a practice. Eventually, it will help calm your spirit as you approach the portal to motherhood.
Our lymphatic system is responsible for removing toxins and waste from bodily tissue and relies on movement and massage to do its job. Body oiling is a great way to move that fluid out of the body while simultaneously receiving plant medicine to support your immune system.
“Moreover, during pregnancy, many hormonal changes take place including increased levels of progesterone, estrogen, HCG, and prolactin [2]. These higher levels of hormones induce changes in vascular permeability, promoting extravasation of plasma with consequent edema. Other transformations that may occur due to these hormonal changes are the formation of varicose veins, sensation of heaviness, paresthesia, and cramp. Manual lymph drainage helps to reduce limb size during the day of pregnant women. Implications for nursing management: edema is the most common and resilient manifestation in pregnant women where there is a perceived need to treat or improve these symptoms in a clinic during this period; therefore, the outpatient nursing intervention with lymphatic drainage can effectively relieve this symptom afflicting these women.”
“Researchers working with patients with compromised immune systems have found massage therapy can improve how the immune system functions,” said Jeff Smoot, 2015 President of the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA). “Those same benefits can translate to people seeking to fight off the common cold, flu and other seasonal illnesses.”
Massage increases the activity of the white blood cells , combating colds and viruses. By adding a daily, or even weekly self massage practice with body oils you can increase your immune system!
Pregnancy is a time of great change. One day you wake up noticing part of yourself you’ve never noticed before. For some, you don’t quite recognize the woman in the mirror. This can be challenging for some. It can be tempting to try and find the perfect body oil for pregnancy stretch marks. But we gotta be honest--stretch marks don't happen with every woman and they aren't entirely preventable. However, there are some oils can support changing, stretching skin and those include essential oils of frankincense, neroli, patchouli, lavender, AND argan oil. These are some of the key ingredients we've specifically chosen for our Pregnancy Safe Body Oils.
Try to remember that this season your in is a right of passage into a season of magnificent reward! Try taking the time to practice loving words of affirmation to your new curves. Your body is working the hardest it’s ever worked.
Use 3-4 pumps of our Body Oil, massaging the entire body and applying pressure.
“Apply light pressure on sensitive areas such as the abdomen or the heart. Use more oil and spend more time where nerve endings are concentrated, such as the soles of the feet, palms of the hands and along the base of the fingernails. Circular motions over rounded areas such as your head or joints, and straight strokes on straight areas such as your arms and legs, work best.
After you're done, relax for 10-15 minutes, letting the oil and the massage do their magic. The longer the oil is on, the deeper it penetrates. During this time you can read something relaxing or uplifting and rest; or shave, cut nails, and get ready for the day. Dab excess oil off with paper towels if you like, then follow with a relaxing warm bath or shower. If your schedule doesn't allow for a daily massage, try to squeeze it in at least three or four times a week. You'll find it's worth it!”
The practices you develop in pregnancy are just as important, IF NOT MORE, in postpartum. As your life dramatically shifts into caring for a new being, there will be more times than not for you to put yourself last. Body oiling in postpartum is a way for you honor your body, calm your nervous system down, and create a small daily ritual that will pay dividends to your sanity. Our organic Jasmine + Sandalwood Body Oil is made specifically for postpartum (choose any of your favorite oils to use during postpartum, though--the point is just doing it). Set the time aside for yourself, it's just 20 minutes. And you deserve 20 minutes.
There are so many more reasons to add this practice to your holy wellness routine. I would LOVE for you to explore it yourself!
Choose your new favorite organic Body Oil HERE.
Resources: https://www.mapi.com/ayurvedic-knowledge/massage/benefits-of-an-ayurvedic-abhyanga-massage.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3819918/
We have covered chakras 1-5 for our blog series, which now brings us to the sixth chakra. The sixth chakra is the mysterious third eye and it’s even more mysterious sixth sense(s) of perceiving.
In Sanskrit, the sixth chakra is known as Ajna chakra. According to longtime chakra student Anodea Judith, ajna means “to command” and “to perceive,” however, she states that ajna didn’t take on the definition of command until much later and ajna originally was specific to perception. And so, we begin with the mysteries of the third eye chakra.
Activation of the sixth chakra activates our intuition, imagination, creativity, vision, wisdom. It’s the shift from seeing with physical eyes which see our self-centered world, to sensing and “seeing” with a spiritual eye which can perceive beyond the physical world and see the unseen. The sixth chakra takes us beyond ignorance — believing that the stories and illusions of so-called “reality” are true — to being able to perceive a profound and mysterious world through higher consciousness.
As Anodea Judith shares “Just as our dreams take us to a world where we can fly, transform, or move from past to future in an instant, Chakra 6 takes us to a dimension of transcendence, illumination, and the light of wisdom [...] We can pierce the veil of illusion and see the ultimate nature of reality that is behind everything. This is the true meaning of clairvoyance, or clear seeing. It is the state of realization, where we have the illumination of what is true. Realization is learning to see with real eyes.”
AFFIRMATION: I RECEIVE INSIGHT
My emotional and spiritual gifts are acts of love and service that benefit myself and our greater community. The visions I receive inspire and guide my path toward Holy Wellness.
MANTRA: Om/Aum
Om, the sound of creation which the ancients say vibrated the world into existence, is the mantra of the third eye chakra. Time meditating with or chanting this mantra is a great and simple practice, but to turn your mantra session into an empowering ritual, consider beginning with a bija mantra to set the energy and intention for your mantra work. You can further experiment with the power of your Om mantra by combining it with Bhramari Breathing (aka the Bee Breath).
GEMSTONES: Amethyst, Ametrine, Azurite, Blue Topaz, Indicolite Tourmaline, Kyanite, Lapis Lazuli, Quartz, Sapphire, Sodalite, and Sugilite.
There are so many crystals with so many different energetic “personalities” and qualities, this list is really intended to get you started. I highly recommend getting a good crystal book like Judy Hall’s Crystal Bible or Robert Simmons’ Pocket Book Of Stones. If you’re interested in crystal grids, read the post on third eye chakra healing from the crystal experts at Energy Muse.
ESSENTIAL OILS: Frankincense, Sandalwood, Rosemary, Helichrysum, Juniper, Clary Sage, Marjoram, and Benzoin
Mindy Green and Kathi Keville — aromatherapists, herbalists, and authors of Aromatherapy: A Complete Guide To The Healing Art — recommend Rosemary for clarity, Helichrysum for enhanced intuition and creativity, Juniper for intuition and promoting the greater good, and they also recommend Clary Sage, Marjoram, and Benzoin. Sandalwood and Frankincense are also sure to be worth exploring given their ancient reputation with holy rituals and sacred temples.
HERBS: Blue Lotus, Celastrus Seed, Holy Basil (Tulsi), Mugwort, Rosemary, Juniper, and Lavender
Blue Lotus, Celastrus Seed, and Holy Basil are herbs recommended for the sixth chakra by shaman-trained certified herbalist Aaron Weis for their energetic properties with expanding upon wellness and consciousness.Master Herbalist Jackie Johnson of Herbal Academy suggests Mugwort, Rosemary, Juniper, Lavender for opening and balancing the third eye.
ELEMENT: Light
We are familiar with the elements of fire, wind, water, and earth — but what is light as an element? The significance is expressed well by Anodea Judith in her book Wheels Of Life.
“As each chakra corresponds to a gland, chakra six is related to the pineal gland, a tiny cone-shaped gland located in the geometric center of the head at approximately eye level [...] The pineal gland, sometimes called the “seat of the soul,” acts as a light meter for the body, translating variations in light to hormonal messages relayed to the body through the autonomic nervous system. Over 100 body functions have daily rhythms which are influ-enced by exposure to light [...] Since light is also particle-like, we can think of it as discreet packets or photons, each containing information that allows us to see.”
So, what is the significance of the ajna element of light? It is the gift of sight. The more light we have, the more we are able to see and perceive. Even the darkest, most hidden, and most intimidating of spaces can be seen for what they really are when enough light is brought in. And so it is with the third eye. The more light we welcome into ourselves and utilize in a moment or situation, the more we will be able to see. And the more we are able to see, the better we will be able to navigate the journey we call “life.”
MUDRA: Mudra of the Great Hand
This mudra comes recommended by Andrea Rice, a yoga teacher and writer for Mind Body Green. To sink into the intuitive and perceptive powers of your sixth chakra, take a sitting position and raise your right hand while leaving your left hand placed on your thigh. Next, curl your ring finger into the palm. Then you will bring together the end of the thumb, pointer finger, and middle finger, leaving the pinky finger extended up. Now the right hand can be brought towards with forehead so the three joined fingers can unite with your ajna energy center. Breathe into your body in the position it is now in and tune into the subtle changes and energies you can now feel. You may not notice much at first, but awareness is a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it. The energy of your chakras will also strengthen the more you pay attention to them and develop them.
YOGA POSE: Inversions, Child’s Pose, Seated Meditation Poses
Poses that direct energy to the third eye energy center include inversions like shoulder stand and headstand, as well as standing forward fold and child’s pose. You can hold the pose and breathe into it to enhance the opening and expansion of the sixth chakra. If you really want to light the fire of the ajna chakra, create or try a pose series like the third eye yoga sequence from Yoga Journal. Of course, stillness may be the most powerful way to tap into the sixth chakra, so getting comfortable in seated meditation poses like Sukhasana, Virasana, and Lotus (in all their variations) are powerful ways to open and strengthen the energetic pathways of ajna chakra.
As you can see, the third eye chakra is indeed mysterious in what it can do and how it expresses itself, not in a black-and-white yes-or-no manner, but in a way that is unique to us. And the only way to know the unique expression of our own ajna chakra is to welcome in the light and see what unfolds.
The only question is… are you ready to see the new world that awaits you in seeing with an unlimited divine eye?
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CHAKRAS?
Anodea Judith’s Introduction To The Chakras course on HayHouse.
Eastern Body, Western Mind and Wheels Of Life by Anodea Judith
The Complete Book Of Chakra Healing by Cyndi Dale
Why Do Mothers Need Self Care? It’s the Ultimate Form of SOUL CARE.
Self care is an expensive luxury, right? NO. There is a pervasive myth that as long as there is a healthy baby, a mother should be content. However, a recent study by the Journal of Affective Disorders has shown that more than 15% of pregnant and postpartum women experience anxiety related disorders. Outside academia, though, this number sounds awfully low.
As a childbirth educator and mother with midwifery practice experience, I don’t need a study to confirm that tension and stress are ridiculously high for new or experienced mothers. Through sheer empirical observation, I can tell by the dark circles under a woman’s eyes or her stretched out t-shirt and yoga pants ensemble that her outer, disheveled appearance is only a minute indicator of what’s going on internally. Or maybe it’s the very well put-together woman with a dense schedule and a chronic cold. I’ve held many women’s gathering where we circle together and share our experiences. Over and over and over again, whether inside a clinic setting or in our circles, women basically repeat the same sentiments: “I’m exhausted.” “I feel like I’ve lost myself.” “I just don’t know what to do.”
Somewhere along our historical collective feminine shift, we forgot how to mother the mother. Sprinkle in the economic pressure many women experience as they must return to work six weeks postpartum and we as a society have created the perfect storm for emotional, spiritual, and physical depletion. Add in subsequent pregnancies and the exhaustion compounds. The physical shell that carries a woman wears down. Emotions run high, tempers shorten, and wellness isn’t even a concept we have time to contemplate. Fatigue becomes a mother’s new normal and stress takes on a dominant role.
Here is something to think about: the way a woman experiences postpartum essentially sets her wellness trajectory for months, if not years, to come. When a woman becomes pregnant and then crosses the threshold from maiden to mother, there is a portal, of sorts, that she walks through, requiring her to navigate significant changes. She must either passively accept what is coming toward her, slipping into dis-ease, or to actively decide to care for her being which may lead to a path of empowerment.
In an article published in the Journal of Midwifery and Women’s Health, authors Jenifer Fahey and Edmond Shenassa outlined three broad common changes a woman must negotiate to establish life skills in health promotion: physical (fatigue, pain, self-care), psychosocial (attachment to infant, bodily self-image, intimate relationship disruption), and domestic responsibilities (infant care, home care, caring for other children, logistics of transportation and childcare). Now, this scholarly article has self-care tucked into one aspect of a woman’s well-being. I argue that self-care, especially in a culture that does not promote caring for mothers within the context of a community, is an act of radical self-preservation, the ultimate form of empowerment.
So what does that leave a mother to do? Let me first state, abundantly clear, self care is a form of self love. SELF CARE IS SOUL CARE. With that comes grace, forgiveness, respect, and the dissolution of judgement. Self-love is an active perseverance. We’ve got to eliminate any guilt attached to taking time to refill our own cups, so to say. That means telling ourselves that we deserve the time. We deserve wellness. We deserve joy. Can you say it out loud? Not yet? Here, let me tell you. Your well-being is way too important to allow deterioration. Your wellness is a bedrock for thriving, not just surviving. We all know raising babies is not easy, so let’s dispel the myth that taking time to nourish ourselves is harmful to anyone. It takes nothing away from our home life, other than perhaps some forethought and will, to find 20 minutes to recharge. That 20 minutes may mean the difference between laughing at an explosive diaper or having a panic attack. The diaper is inevitable. The panic attack doesn’t have to be.
Speaking about postpartum women’s wellness, Fahey and Shenassa state that “individuals are not healthy unless they are living to their fullest potential. Well-being is in part predicated on the learning and adoption of skills and traits that buffer the individual from disease-inducing events and situations.” Buffering from disease is preventative care. However, there is no statement here about the ease of creating the space and time for self-care. We must constantly redefine how we care for ourselves, carving out time for what we feel is most important. Self-care may look very different season to season. For a new mother with an infant, sleep may be the most important aspect of self-care (although I’ll add eating and drinking nourishing foods are equally important) and that may only be accomplished by letting the dirty clothes and dishes pile up during the day. The old adage sleep when the baby sleeps might be one of the most important phrases a woman can implement in postpartum life. For a mother of several children, self-care may look like a cup of nourishing herbal tea with a journal and a lit candle after all the kids are put to bed. Once kids are a little older and perhaps sleeping in a bit, a morning walk or jog alone might be an option. Sometimes self-care is getting out of the house by one’s self. SOMETIMES IT MEANS BREAKING DOWN AND CRYING JUST BECAUSE. Self-care isn’t a strict regimen. Selfcare is grace for our hard-working spirit.
As we are inherently chartered to care for our babes, there also comes the responsibility to exhibit self love to our children so they may extend that unto themselves as they grow. We show others how we want to be treated by modeling it for ourselves. We define our own boundaries and draw our own lines in the sand which gives clear blueprint for others to observe. This is, perhaps, one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. Boundaries are a necessity for flourishing, not a harmful barrier. Brene Brown, storyteller, social worker, and shame researcher, speaks eloquently about boundaries in their relationship to living a wholeheartedness, a phrase she uses to describe the active participation in one’s life in pursuit of soulful living. She tweeted out one day “Boundaries are a function of love and respect.” Simple, yet this couldn’t be more true. When we set the parameters for how we love ourself and for how we want to be loved, that takes care of feeling respected.
Selfcare is a fundamental life skill It is necessary for us as women to also remind one another of its importance. Self-care is not just about the individual or immediate family. The modeling that we do is also observed outside of our homes. To redefine a culture, it is incumbent upon women to carry the responsibility of reminding and affirming other women of the necessity of our own wellness. A mother’s well-being is the cornerstone of a healthy household. If we extend that out further, a healthy household contributes to a healthy community. One step further, we can make the connection between a better woman and better earth.Perhaps it is an unfair burden to bear, but we should take the time to care for ourselves and also remind other women of it and stepping in when necessary to offer support. “Social support provided by close relations and professionals appears to have a positive effect on physical health and psychological well-being; a lack of social support is associated with unhealthy behaviors such as smoking and a sedentary lifestyle.” This support and reminding are how, I believe, women reach empowerment. We do not empower others. With our affirmations, we essentially fertilize the seeds of empowerment that lay dormant. Our actions serve as guiding lights. Our words have the power to impregnate positive change and habits in others.
Self care does not have to be fancy or include a trip to the spa, even though that is a beautiful treat every once in awhile. Self care is really more about the ritual, creating the time and space for the work and making a commitment to yourself to recognize your own gravity. Each time you show yourself love, you fertilize your own empowerment. You show your children that self-care is important. You remind other women of their inherent value. And most important: you set boundaries for how you are willing to treat yourself.
Self care isn’t selfish. It is self-preserving. And what we believe is that we each deserve HOLY WELLNESS WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. It’s an act of perseverance and we all need you to be your best self and to see your light shining brightly. You’ve got your good, earnest work to do. Set up your boundaries. Drink your tea. And make your (health, spirit, body, mind) self a priority. Amen.
References:
http://brenebrown.com/videos/
http://www.birthingmama.org/Birthingmama
http://www.yogabasics.com/asana/corpse/
Fairbrother, Nichole et al. Perinatal anxiety disorder prevalence and incidence. Journal of Affective Disorders; 200 , 148 -155.
Jenifer O. Fahey CNM, MSN MPH and Edmond Shenassa ScD. Understanding and meeting the needs of women in the postpartum period: the perinatal maternal health promotion model. Journal of Midwifery & Women’s Health; 58, 613-621.
Weed, Susun. Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year, Ash Tree Publishing, Woodstock NY, 1985.
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