I CULTIVATE Myself - In Times of Crisis
One of my best friends is a chiropractor, and her favorite thing to holler at me about is not waiting until times of crisis to seek care. That message applies to all parts of self care, right? Like, don’t wait until your teeth are rotting out of your head to go get a cleaning. Or don’t wait until you’re one “hey mom” away from losing your shit before you ask for help. Basically, self-care is only made more difficult by waiting to tend to it in crisis.
Well, guess what fam. We are in the middle of an EVERYBODY crisis. Every life you know is in some way impacted by the uncertainty and imminence of the COVID-19 outbreak, and by the social collateral of a global pandemic. We are in the middle of not only a life-threatening outbreak, but a life-altering social disturbance like our generation as never seen. Schools and public spaces are closed. We are all looking down the barrel of working from home while homeschooling our kids and leaving the house only out of necessity, without any physical proximity to our friends and loved ones, for who knows how long.
And as our resident extrovert and entertainer with a history of anxiety and depression I am here to fucking tell you this is A LOT. But I’m not going to climb onto a Coronavirus soapbox. I’m not going to tell you to stay at home (because you already know you should) and I’m not going to tell you to wash your hands.
I’m gonna ask you how you feel. I mean how you really feel. Look in the mirror. Are you scared? Are you anxious or sad? How about angry?
I’m pissed, ya’ll. I’m mad as hell because I swear, right before this caca hit the fan, I felt closer to having my shit together than I had in a full decade. I found the right supplements. I was writing consistently. I had started my grazing table business. I was back in the gym and I felt like I was moving forward. It took me years to get there, and now I feel like I’m taking several steps back with anxiety attacks, short temper, sugar and alcohol binges and lack of movement. I am acutely aware of exactly how this uncertainty and financial insecurity and isolation are affecting me (and my family.) I just haven’t found the right balance to counter it. But I have to.
I have to dig into understanding why I’m angry and why I feel robbed and hopeless. I have to work on finding NEW balance and momentum in whatever the fuck this new normal is. Because I can do hard things, and because self care in times of crisis means a little more work. For me, I didn’t actually wait until crisis to tend to the care I needed so maybe some the groundwork is already laid, for whatever that’s worth.
But this is a new kind of crisis, and we need to dig into where we are, plant new seeds and bloom where now find ourselves planted, so that we can regrow ourselves and flourish in these weird and lonely times. For you and for me and for the people we’re trying to save, now more than ever we have to prioritize our self-care in the form of transparency and vulnerability with ourselves and each other. Intentional communication with our partners to avoid quarantine fights. Serious mirror therapy - talking our your feelings with yourself. Open vulnerability with our children and dependents about how this is new for ALL of us and we’re all going to have hard moments. All of the virtual hangouts with the people who make you better, who bring you joy, who love you. Maybe new habits, maybe more journaling, new schedules and basic structure. Definitely new boundaries, in a time where close quarters are all we’ve got.
And if you need someone to talk to, drop us a line in our Facebook group, Sage Woman Circle. It’s a whole lot of women who are moving through this together. Let’s use that space to lean into each other and find a light in all this darkness.