Self-Care 101: I Stand Up for Myself. I Stand Up for You, Too.

I've NEVER been a quiet person, silencing myself in order to comfort another's ego or to protect myself from rebuke. Nope. Much to my husband's chagrin on our first date, I sent back my dinner when it came out wrong. He would just eat it. But, why, if that's not the right order? It's a small thing, really. But, what we put up with on a daily basis, the small stuff, is reflected in the big stuff, too. 
Sage Woman Retreat, November 2016
I know a lot of women who are silent, quiet, voiceless. I don't think it's because they don't care. I think women, nay, humans, don't stand up for themselves or for others because they are scared of the consequences. SHIT. I'm scared of what happens if we don't speak our peace/piece. When we are silent, shuddering in fear of what's going on, we give space to those who are willing to take it, including those who wish to do so by (verbal, physical, spiritual, emotional) force. 

It's enough. All the shitty, scary things that pop up all over the world, I'm done with that. I'm done with the hustle, the busy-ness, the stress ball in my shoulder. I'm done with the scare tactics, the fear-mongering, the bullying. 

When I started Honey & Sage, the mission was very clear to me, even if the path was not: better woman + better earth. You see, you get a CHOICE. Every.damn.day. You get a choice on how you want to engage in the world. Are you silent out of fear? Your fear controls you and makes you feel like you have no choice...no. You've got to dig up some courage. Are you silent because you agree but just don't care to share or don't have the time? No, your silence makes you complicit in any macro or micro aggressions that take place in which you reserve your voice. Are you silent because you don't know enough? Then, for heaven's sake, whip out your Google machine and get to researching and cross-referencing. And when that doesn't suffice, have the humility to ask for guidance from a person who has the experience and wisdom. Courage is contagious. 

For every time violence occurs and we say nothing, do nothing...nothing changes. You cannot be permitted a life of love if you are not willing to stand up for it. If you are not willing to put it out into the world and speak truth, kindness, gentlessness, it won't come back to you. If you can't muster up the courage and create the space for it, what will come back to you is the fear. That fear will manifest into anxiety, sickness, hate. 

Better women + better earth isn't about sending care packages to women. Honey & Sage isn't a subscription box company. It's a platform to say I STAND UP FOR MYSELF. I STAND UP FOR MY BELOVEDS. I STAND UP FOR YOU. 

What, sister, what are you standing up for? Or, what are you shirking from? Do you KNOW it is an incredible time to be a women alive in 2017? I'm not saying it's easy for everyone. I'm not saying every woman has the same opportunity. We don't. We have systemic racism, systemic social castes, systemic poverty, systemic sickness. But, we also have our VOICES. We have access to online communities if no local community exists. We are in a place in history where the stakes are high, but our ability to command change is, too. 

When you see an injustice, call it by it's name and do so LOUDLY. And if not loudly, do it in any way you can. When you see fear, be gentle and loving and kind. When someone has aggressed you, be bold and look them in their eye and say "Not today. Today is the LAST time you will ever accost me." And, when you don't know what to do, sit with your silence and ask for your next best step. Let the meditations of your heart be what guide you and give you courage to live from a place of SPIRIT rather than a place of fear. 

Be that women for your self. Be that woman for your child. Be that woman for your partner, your community, for your future. When you shine your light, it illuminates the way for others to stand in their courage, too. Please, PLEASE shine your light, sister. Amen.

​#bethatwoman #betterwomanbetterearth

1 comment

  • I liked SELF CARE 101 – wonderful spirit, wonderful attitude!
    This is the type of woman that brought our country to an independent country. These are the type of women that backed the Boston Tea Party.
    I bought your tea “Nourish” at a spa “skin care” in Wichita Falls. My husband and I love it. It is blended perfectly for taste and I think it has been very helpful for me physically. Good job!
    I am enjoying reading about the two of you. Thank you for what you are doing, for being good mother’s and wives.
    Teina

    Teina

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